The battlefield

In the epistle of Paul to the Philippians he said Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.

Paul knew that the road to inner peace and true joy begins with positive thoughts. The concept is really simple but its application proves a bit difficult in day-to-day life.

Ask yourself: On my drive home from work what do I think of? Do you think about how you quoted the wrong figures in the meeting or do secretly pat yourself on the back for reaching to work on time?

Having a healthy self-image starts with focusing on the best aspects of yourself and your actions. In both the old and the new testament we see the words love your neighbor as yourself. For this advice to have the desired impact it presumes that one already has a healthy love for oneself.

You can start off small by thinking at the beginning of each day what great things you plan to accomplish. It can be as simple as smiling while walking to work or not gossiping about Moesha's bad weave. At the end of the day make sure you can find five things you were proud of doing. And then spend some time thinking about these things while you're bathing or cooking.

Some things are going to take time for you to do consistently, like listening to your mate talk to you about his/her job without acting disinterested. Constant improvement is the goal. You can set your goals in the morning based on your performance on the previous day.

As you start practicing focusing on the good stuff you've done everyday, you can then start to do the same for others.

More often than not it is thoughts about our relationships that surface to our consciousness during our spare time. The people we interact with that are not meeting our expectations or desires; the child that doesn't pick up their clothes, the gossiping co-worker, the mate that doesn't mow the lawn on time or the mate that goes out with friends too much. We harp on these things that bother or hurt us the most. But harping is not helping.

Instead, just as you have learnt that you are not perfect, you need to accept the fact that others around you aren't either. So why not direct your thoughts toward the fact that the untidy child is generally well-behaved and how good Mr/Ms Talk-a-lot looked yesterday? And yeah your mate does annoying things, but the pay-check comes in on time, they wash your car for you without you asking and they always put the lid down.

A lot of times we think Yeah, but when are they going to change? Well, maybe the question is When are you going to change and accept them for who they are and how they are?

We have a choice to think about the things that stir up emotions of resentment, disappointment or shame. Or we can choose to dwell on the aspects of our lives and our relationships that nurture endearing feelings toward ourselves and others. You may say Well, there isn't much good about myself or my mate or my coworker that I can think about. But going back to Philippians 4:8 it says if there is ANY virtue...ANYTHING praiseworthy?!! Surely you can find ONE good thing, no matter how small. And the more you practice looking for the good things, the more good things you'll find. You'll become an excellent hunter-gatherer of good thoughts.

Because really and truly the battlefield is in your mind. And you are in control of what direction your mind goes.